“There is a voice in my head saying, ‘That is so LAME!’”.

Written By Guest User

“There is a voice in my head saying, ‘That is so LAME!’”.
Those thoughtless words came out of my mouth. Not 50 years ago, or 20, or even 2; those words came out of my mouth yesterday. How deep, how dreadful our internalized “isms” lie. The version I battle most is ableism. Go figure.

Multiple sclerosis has been a part of my life for almost 30 years. Because I could not face the reality of this diagnosis, that painful truth festered inside of me unacknowledged. While I marinated in denial, a crippling fear of being disabled grew until it affected my perceptions, drove my actions, and lead me to make disastrous personal choices. (yes- I said “crippling”)

The Multiple Sclerosis Intimacy and Sexuality Questionnaire (MSISQ) was created to “better understand the impact of multiple sclerosis on intimacy and sexuality". The questions address:

  • Primary effects (direct effects from damage to the central nervous system (CNS) such as decreased or absent sex drive or altered genital sensations)

  • Secondary effects (problems arising from damage to the CNS, such as spasticity or fatigue)

  • Tertiary effects (psychological, and social influences that cause difficulty with the perception of ourselves as sexual beings as well as our intimate relationships)

This last category is where internalized ableism fits. If we feel “lame”, this can influence how desirable or sexual we feel. As I said in my interview with Chelsey, “I couldn’t really blend the idea of me …as a disabled person and a sexual person at the same time. Those two things could not fit in my mind.”

According to a paper by Tudor KI (et al.) at the University Hospital Center Zagreb in Croatia, “Patients perceived that SD (sexual dysfunction) is not an MS-related problem…”. This is a tragic misperception; how can MS patients reach out for help with sexual problems if they believe there is no connection? News flash: MS affects your sexual well-being!!

The good news is, I’m ready to dive into the questions and find the answers for myself, and for you. As a person with MS or another autoimmune disease, do you struggle with any sexual issues? PM or Email your questions and we will find our way to solutions. 

JoyfulSexEd@gmail.com

Instagram @JoyfulSexEd

Guest User