The Pleasures of Care: Love, Sex, and Disability
Click below to watch a video conversation about the Pleasures of Care. Dr. Smithback shares her personal experiences with her late partner Max who was a person with MS.
This month we are diving into the topic of care with researcher and author Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback. She is a professor of women’s studies at Bowling Green State University. One of her research papers led me to her book “The Pleasures of Care: Love, Sex, and Disability”.
Anyone listening to this podcast probably understands that nagging fear that can haunt us, even if we are functioning well for the moment: the fear of being a burden on those we love. If I need help walking, dressing, or bathing will my partner still see me as a sexy person? I was instantly taken with Dr. Sarah’s writings because she helped me see how I can turn that fear on its head. Here is a quote from her book:
“Care is typically experienced as pleasurable when caregiving and receiving have consciously and explicitly been made strange, negotiated, reframed, and even performed through open dialogue and communication.”
In our discussion, we talk about:
· The power of communication and negotiation as a tool for great sex
· How to reframe caregiving
· Re-eroticizing different parts of your body
· How limited definitions of sex affect disabled and nondisabled folx alike
· The intersection of disability, queer culture, and kink culture
· We even have a deep conversation about how complicated consent can be
Be sure to join us for a live Q&A with Dr. Sarah on January 20th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time.
Go to www.MSexualHealth/podcast.com to reserve your spot in the conversation. Or sign up on my calendar to get a link to the event.
Here are some resources:
Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback Website
Resources and Support through the National MS Society
And finally, as promised in part two of this episode, here is a ink to Gillian’s website. She worked magic with my new website; if you need web work done, contact her. Do it! She’s fantastic.